The Gundam Wing Project
by novahime
Summary: A slight parody of the Blair Witch Project; the Gundam Boys and their... friends go camping in the woods, only to get lost. Now, they must struggle to survive... and not kill each other in the process. A multi-chapter story


The Gundam Wing Project   
  
By Nova Maxwell  
  
Warning: Profanity, Relena-bashing, silliness, suffering (what do you expect when you're stuck with RELENA?).  
  
Note: This is the first Gundam Wing fan fiction I ever wrote---- three years ago. Some characters MIGHT seem a bit out of character, but too bad, it's supposed to be silly and make no sense. So don't try to find a real plot in this story, because you'll be highly disappointed. More to come if you actually like it. So review it!!  
  
Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is owned by... people who aren't me. Bandai and Sunrise I think. So... okay, don't sue....  
  
Note II: Anything written below a name is a journal entry. Easy enough  
  
Chapter One: Insanity is Bliss  
  
Heero Yuy  
  
Darkness. Emptiness. An eternal loneliness that fills the entire soul with fear and dread. Not the exact words I'd use to describe how I am feeling at this point in this pointless trip.  
  
I am no longer capable of feeling any emotions. Actually, I can't feel anything anymore. My body is numb and I'm not sure if I'm breathing properly. I think the only reason I am still writing at all is because my hand froze gripping the pen, and now I'm afraid that if I try to release the pen, all my fingers will fall off.  
  
WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING, SUGGESTING A CAMPING TRIP/HIKE/STAY AT A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF JANUARY?! Relena, I hope you read this journal you're making us write in, because I'm warning you, if we somehow make it out of these woods alive, I am going to kill you. And this time I promise you, I WILL do it.  
  
7:30 a.m Friday --- Day One  
  
Relena Peacecraft  
  
We're finally heading out to the campsite today. At last. I wanted to go back in December, but everyone looked at me like I was crazy. But finally, after several weeks of pleading, I got Heero and the others to reconsider. Yay! Here I come, Dark Valley Campgrounds! A week in my father's cabin with Heero! Well….And some other people, too.  
  
At first only me, Heero, and the other four Gundam pilots were going, but Duo Maxwell insisted on bringing Hilde Schbeiker with us, the girl that I met while I was on Libra. Then Trowa insisted that he bring this girl named Catherine along, too. I don't know her, but I know that she likes throwing knives at people. Then Dorothy Catalonia sort of just invited herself along. Heero gave me the "omae o korosu" look, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that she couldn't go. Heero muttered something about packing his detonators, but I didn't quite catch the rest.  
  
Anyway, now there's nine of us going along on the camping trip. We're going to drive there in this huge rental van (it'll be a little cramped, but we can all squeeze into it). Heero's driving. I volunteered to do it, but Heero quickly dove into the seat, muttering about me getting them lost in the middle of nowhere. I would not! I know how to get to the campsite… I think.  
  
Anyway, here's what was happening as we prepared to leave.  
  
Relena Ouch! Heero, you didn't have to shove me out of the way so hard. I can drive the van.  
  
Heero (sliding into the driver's seat and revving up the engine). Sorry, but no thanks. I'll trust the driving to myself. You can sit in the passenger seat and stay quiet. (hides the roadmap under his seat).  
  
Relena…….  
  
Quatre All right! This is going to be so much fun! I haven't been camping in ages! (hums to himself as he helps load the many bags and camping supplies into the van that they were going to use on their hike to the cabin).  
  
Wufei (looking as gloomy as usual) ……  
  
Trowa (in his monotone voice). Cheer up, Wufei. Don't look so gloomy.  
  
Wufei ……. (gets into the back seat of the van without replying to Trowa).  
  
Catherine Yeah, Wufei. Have a little fun already. (sits down next to him. Wufei grumbles under his breath. Duo, Hilde, and Dorothy come out of the house with more supplies. Duo has his arms around Hilde, who keeps sneezing).  
  
Duo Hey, Hilde, are you positive that you want to go? If you're sick, I'll stay here with you.  
  
Hilde (sneezes again). Nopf, Duo. Yuff been loking so furerd to dis trif, I don wan 't ruin if fur yuff. (sneezes, then shivers against him). Besids, I pak'd sum medcin, so I suld be kay. (sneezes again).  
  
Duo (hesitantly). Well, if you say so…  
  
Wufei …….. (rolls his eyes and says something in audible. It sounds like, "Foolish Onna.").  
  
Dorothy (dressed in a long winter coat over her school uniform, her solid wall of hair tied back). OH, MISS RELENA!! This was SUCH a wonderful idea. Taking a camping trip at this time of the year is JUST BRILLIANT. (smiles coyly at Heero. He fingers a small pistol he has on the seat beside him).  
  
Relena Why, thank you, Dorothy. I'm glad you think so. (reaches over, retrieves Heero's gun, and gives it to Pargan, who immediately rushes over to dispose of it. Heero gives her an icy glare. Quatre, Trowa, and Duo finish loading the van and slide inside next to Hilde, who is still sniffling. Quatre puts a comforting arm around her).  
  
Quatre Don't worry, Hilde. When we get to the cabin, you can rest all you want. (smiles reassuringly).  
  
Hilde (sniffles). Danks, Katcha. (starts coughing madly. Wufei and Dorothy both send her disgusted looks. Heero begins to drive. The car seems to lurch as it creeps along the road, making awful groaning sounds that make Heero uneasy).   
  
Heero Relena, are you sure that this car is in driving condition?  
  
Relena (blinks her eyes). The man at the car dealership said that it was one of a kind.  
  
Heero ….. (unreadable look in his eyes, with a tiny hint of despair. He looks through the rearview mirror at Hilde coughing, Quatre trying to comfort her by singing, at a grumpy Wufei, then at Dorothy smiling back at him mischievously, Trowa sitting in silence, Catherine pretending to throw invisible knives at Heero's seat, then he looks at a still blinking Relena. He groans loudly). God, help me through this. Alive…..  
  
3:15 p.m. Friday-- Somewhere near the woods, on a highway  
  
Heero Yuy  
  
It's only been a couple of hours since we left this morning, and already this trip has been doomed to hell. That "one of a kind" car of Relena's broke down a couple of miles away from the campsite, so we ended up having to walk the remainder of the way toting an assload of bags. Plus Hilde's cold has gotten worse, and Relena is complaining about having to carry the bags. "But I'm a princess." Who gives a damn if you're a princess--- RIGHT NOW YOU'RE A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS! You wanted to go o this trip, so shut up and carry your own bags, before I hit you over your stupid head with one!  
  
Heero (muttering as he walks down the road, easily carrying five of the bags-- two are huge bags of Relena's). Nice car you found for us, Relena. Too bad it was a faulty piece of sh--  
  
Quatre (cutting Heero off quickly). Let's see. The campsite is approximately 5 miles up the highway. (consults the retrieved the road map). The turnoff is 14A. It shouldn't take us that long to get there. (gives Heero a soft but firm look). Please refrain from hurting anyone until we reach it.  
  
Heero ……  
  
Hilde (sneezes and leans heavily against Duo. Her face has gone considerably pale). Duo? Stop moving so much. You're making me dizzy.  
  
Duo But I'm not walking yet, Hilde. (Hilde swoons and Duo quickly catches her, dropping the bag). Hilde, are you all right? Heero!  
  
Hilde (in a dreamy voice). Wow, Duo, your face is so… swirly and sparkly and… you know, the thing is… (faints into Duo's arms. Wufei and Dorothy snicker from where they stand, slightly apart from the others).   
  
Duo Damn it! She passed out! Quatre, quick, get her bag. It has some medicine in it. (watches as Hilde's face turns several unnatural shades of gray). Hurry, Quatre! It's the green one!  
  
Quatre begins to shift the bags as Duo and Trowa attempt to wake Hilde. Slowly, beads of sweat break out on Quatre's face. He looks at Heero and Relena, who were looking through the bags they, Catherine, Wufei, and Dorothy were responsible for. Heero shakes his head.  
  
Quatre (in a hesitant voice, practically whispering). It's not here.  
  
Duo WHAT?!  
  
Quatre Her bag's not here. Did someone leave it in the car?  
  
Dorothy (crossing over to the van and peering inside, a smirk on her face). No bag here. Are you sure you packed it?  
  
Duo (in a shout). I put it in the car myself! (for a moment everyone is quiet. Then Heero notices the guilty expression on Relena's face).  
  
Heero (his voice low and deadly). Relena, do you know something about this?  
  
Relena Uh, I… (chuckles nervously). There, uh, sort of wasn't any more room for my bags, so I took one out and gave it to Pargan…  
  
Heero (grabs Relena and shakes her). You WHAT?! (Duo begins to get hysterical. Relena cries as Heero yells at her. Quatre frantically looks at the map for a nearby hospital. Trowa and Catherine appear uncomfortable. Wufei and Dorothy watch the scene in silence, amused. Hilde continues to mutter incoherently in her sleep, her face now a feverish red).  
  
6:00 p.m. Somewhere lost on turnoff 14A. No hospital or woods in sight.  
  
Duo Maxwell  
  
Well, this trip is turning out just peachy. Relena has managed to put Hilde into a comatose state, and now I'm starting to feel light-headed myself. Heero, do me a favor. If Hilde and I die before we reach shelter, grant me one final wish, pilot to pilot, comrade to comrade.  
  
Avenge our deaths and KILL RELENA.  
  
Relena (crying). I really AM sorry! I didn't know that it had her medicine in it! It just felt so light and out of place and….  
  
Heero (irritated). Shut UP, Relena, and carry the goddamn bags already! (Relena whimpers. The suicidal boy walks in silence, carrying the bags AND Hilde now. Duo is walking quickly beside him carrying more of the bags and holding one of Hilde's hands. Quatre is still struggling to find a hospital or the campsite or something. There was absolutely nothing in their area, not even a truck stop or a rest area).   
  
Hilde (awake now, but barely alive). Duo? What's going on? Why does everything look so fuzzy? (blinks eyes, which are constantly watering over).  
  
Duo ….. (stares at Relena. The girl gulps and stays as far away from the Shinigami as she can. Meanwhile, Trowa and Catherine are straying at the rear of the group, holding their own conversation. Dorothy and Wufei are walking together, in silence, of course. They occasionally throw smug glances at each other).  
  
Hilde…. (gives a short grunt, then slumps down over Heero, nearly falling off. Heero presses a hand to her forehead--- how he manages to do this with all that he is carrying will never be known. He draws it away quickly).  
  
Heero She's burning up like hell. (turns to Duo with a serious look on his face). She's dying, buddy. Let's leave her here.  
  
Duo DO WHAT?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND, YUY?!? (looks at Heero and realizes that he is not joking. Without hesitating, Duo manages to pull Hilde onto the safety of his back--- even with the mere two bags he is carrying, this is difficult. Heero watches him and shrugs, still as emotionless as ever).  
  
Heero Fine. Do what you want. She's your extra baggage, anyway. (looks at Relena and grimaces. She sniffles back her tears). Too bad I can't get rid of my own. (Relena starts crying again).  
  
***15 minutes later***   
  
Duo (walking funny, stumbling, his face going gray). Uh, Heero? (in a pathetic, strained voice).  
  
Heero (walking ahead of the group now, trying to ignore Relena's whimpering. Stops to glare at Duo). What?  
  
Duo (now in a sluggish voice). I don't feel so hot… (sinks to his knees, dropping the bag, Hilde still passed out on his back. Heero stares unblinkingly at him, his face emotionless, but his dark eyes are narrowed).  
  
Heero……  
  
Relena (sobbing uncontrollably now). Heero…. (the others stop walking and look grim. Even Wufei and Dorothy aren't sneering anymore).  
  
Wufei Uh, oh. This is bad, isn't it?  
  
Dorothy And it hasn't even been a full day yet.  
  
9:00 p.m. Where in the world ARE we?   
  
Quatre Raberba Winner   
  
Well, we've finally reached the woods, and not a moment too soon. Now poor Duo's sick, and Wufei has the duty of carrying him on his back. Heero is once again carrying Hilde, but every now and then he suggests that we should just go ahead and kill them and put them out of their misery. I'm beginning to think it wasn't such a good idea to let Heero bring all those firearms along….  
  
Now that we've reached our destination, we decided just to set up camp because, frankly, it's getting dark and we have no idea of what direction to head in. And we need to think of something quickly, before Hilde and Duo get worse, or even more horrifying--- MORE of us get sick.  
  
The sky overhead is now almost pitch black, but it can barely be seen through the thick cover of trees. Heero and Trowa are setting up the tents that they had brought with them, you know, "just in case" (and a darn good thing they did, too). Catherine and Quatre have collected firewood and are preparing a fire. Dorothy has opened yet another bag of chips and is sharing it with Wufei. Relena is sitting at the base of a tree, whimpering to herself. Duo and Hilde are lying in their sleeping bags--- Hilde is unconscious still and Duo is now the one rambling in his sleep. Catherine leaves the fire, retrieves one of the canteens, and proceeds to give them water. Duo sputters when the water touches his lips. And Hilde… well, it's surprising that she's still alive…  
  
Duo Deathscythe, where are you… come and kill me…. Deathscythe… the thing… it's coming for me… (mutters incoherently).  
  
Heero …. (continues to set up camp, his eyes continuously wandering over to Relena, then over to his suffering "friends.").  
  
Trowa I hope they'll be okay until we get to the cabin. Especially Hilde. She looks extremely… (fumbles for a word to describe the condition Hilde is in, but is unable to come up with one).  
  
Quatre The only thing we can do for them now is keep giving them water and help them sweat off the fever. (returns to building the fire. Duo continues to toss and turn. Hilde groans and flutters her eyes. Catherine shakes her head sadly).  
  
Catherine Poor girl. She had her entire future before her, too. (Relena cries harder. Quatre almost cries too).  
  
Quatre Don't say that! She's still alive!  
  
Heero (from over at the tents). I still think we should kill her so she doesn't get in our way. (Relena cries more. Everyone is quiet for a few minutes, except for the ranting Shinigami. Trowa wonders whether or not Heero is right, while Catherine consoles Quatre. Relena stops sobbing long enough to accept a can of --slightly-- warm orange juice from Dorothy. Wufei is staring into the fire and is ignoring everything else. Heero finishes setting up one of the tents and wipes a thin trail of sweat from his brow. No, he's not sick, too--- he's just tired, hungry, and annoyed).  
  
Quatre (another fifteen minutes later). Food's done. (The seven teenagers gather around the fire as Catherine begins to serve the stew. Wufei begins eating wordlessly, not paying much attention to what he is eating. Relena pokes at the vegetables with her plastic spoon. Trowa, Dorothy, and Quatre stare uneasily at the soupy broth. Heero is struggling to swallow the food without gagging).  
  
Catherine (sits down with her own bowl). What's wrong? (looks at Trowa questioningly, who keeps dipping his spoon into the bowl, then dropping the contents back inside).  
  
Trowa Something about this stew doesn't look right.  
  
Heero (after grabbing the half-empty can of juice from Relena and downing the rest). Something about the stew doesn't taste right, either. (still looks disgusted).  
  
Wufei …. (continues to eat automatically).  
  
Catherine Really? (takes a timid bite of the stew, then her face relaxes). It tastes okay to me. (eats more naturally now. Trowa watches her in admiration).   
  
Trowa (eats the stew). It must just taste different because of the fire. (Quatre begins to eat too, only he doesn't seem to be enjoying it. Dorothy goes back to eating the potato chips. Heero just dumps the stew and goes into one of the tents).  
  
Relena …. (looks wistfully after Heero, the stew untouched on her lap).  
  
Duo Deathscythe? Where are you… please…? (whimpers mournfully. Hilde continues to lie beside him, breathing irregularly). 


End file.
